Hobbled – a poem by my brother

Hobbled (Thursday Morning)
After the woman she’s with  
finishes her cross, reprimanding phone-call
and sits scowling dourly….
After the large, plaster-spattered man
sitting next to her gets off the bus,
tripping over her crutches on the way out…..
The little girl with the broken leg breaks the silence
And says, “That was so funny, the other night.”
The reflecting frown becomes its own reflection
and [...]

My brother bounced off of another car yesterday.

My brother bounced off of another car yesterday. He does this a lot. He claims the car suddenly turned left, just in front of his bike, in order to snag a parking spot.  My brother already had his brakes on because he was going downhill so it wasn’t high-speed or anything. 
The same thing happened a [...]

Fresh Kill

Last night my brother and his wife were in their garden chatting and enjoying the evening when they noticed their dog, Spike stalking something in the weeds.
Suddenly Spike darted forward—in three quick bounds—and pounced on something.  He then trotted proudly back to my brother and sister-in-law with a bleeding, convulsing rat in his jaws. [...]

American Gladiators

My brother has two miniature Pinschers (dogs) Spike and Nitro. Apparently the people they adopted them from had an unhealthy love of the old-school American Gladiators. My brother emailed me this morning about Spike:
MY BROTHER: Last night when I went to bed, Spike was under the covers near my knees (and in the way) so [...]

Strawberry Shortcake

ME: I had to decline your strawberry shortcake comment …it felt a little violent, even for me. If I were your wife…I might be a little frightened.
MY BROTHER: What?  Censored?  Anal hot dog sex is okay, but no strawberry shortcakes?  What about an Abraham Lincoln?
ME: I know I will regret this…what is an Abraham Lincoln?
MY [...]

Story Time!

My brother used to always tell people (in real quiet, reflective moments, often while alone with them) that he had killed someone once.  They would get all shocked and he would look sad, as he told the tale of the horrible accident of his best friend.
The story would then go on about how my brother [...]

Stupidity runs rampant

One time, my brother had people at his job convinced that an eel skin wallet he had was made from human skin…that it was a nazi souvenier our grandpa brought back from WWII.
People are so gullible. They want to be fooled.